At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister.
As one of them left, he shook the minister’s hand, thanked him for the sermon and said, “Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, you must be smarter than Einstein.”

Beaming with pride, the minister said, “Why, thank you, brother!”

As the week went by, the minister began to think about the man’s compliment. The more he thought, the more he became baffled as to why anyone would deem him smarter than Einstein. So he decided to ask the man the following Sunday.

The next Sunday he asked the parishioner if he remembered the previous Sunday’s comment about the sermon.

The parishioner replied that he did.

The minister asked, “Exactly what did you mean that I must be smarter than Einstein?”

The man replied, “Well, Reverend, they say that Einstein was so smart that only ten people in the entire world could understand him. But Reverend, no one can understand you.”

Albert Einstein
was getting bored with making the same speech over and over again in different meetings, so one night after a long day, his chauffeur jokingly said, ‘I’ve heard your speech so many times that I know it word for word. Why don’t you take the night off and let me deliver the talk this evening?’ Einstein agreed.

When they arrived at the venue, Einstein put on the chauffeur’s uniform and hat, and sat at the back of the hall while the chauffeur took his place on the podium, effortlessly delivering the speech, then inviting the audience to ask questions.

He convincingly answered the first few, but then one pompous man stood up and asked a very difficult question on his theories of relativity.

The chauffeur was flummoxed, but calmly said, ‘This question is very easy. I will let my chauffeur answer it.’

Father O’Flannagan dies due to old age.
Upon entering St. Peter’s gate, there is another man in front of him in the queue waiting to go into heaven.

St. Peter asks the man, “What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?”.

The man responds “My name is Joe Cohen, and I was a New York city taxi driver for 14 years”

“Very well,” says St. Peter, “Here is your silk robe and golden scepter, now you may walk in the streets of our Lord.”

St. Peter looks at the Father, and asks “What is your name and what did you accomplish?”

He responds, “I’m Father O’Flannagan, and have devoted the last 62 years to the Lord.”

“Very well,” says St. Peter, “Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter.”

“Wait a minute,” says O’Flannagan, “You gave the taxi driver a silk robe and golden scepter, why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?”

“Well,” St. Peter replied, “We work on a performance scale. While you preached, everyone slept, but when he drove taxis, everyone prayed!”