Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca Raton. She was seeking a qualified person to fill the recently vacant position of salesperson. Sarah, an outspoken older woman, comes in to interview for the position.

Becky looks at Sarah’s resume and notices that Sarah has never worked in jewelry before. “If you don’t mind my saying so, for someone who has never worked in jewelry you certainly are asking a pretty high salary. That’s chutzpah, wouldn’t you say?!?” asks Becky.

Sarah thinks for a moment. “Well, I suppose I am,” replies Sarah, “but you must understand, the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you are doing.”

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A husband and wife were walking down
a high street when the wife spots a beautiful diamond necklace in a jewelry store window. She urges her husband to go inside so that she can take a look at it.

Although she wants it, he simply doesn’t have to buy it for her, but he promises that it’ll be hers one day. A month passes, and the wife is at home wondering where on earth her husband is. She angrily calls his cell phone.

“Where the hell are you?” she asks. “Darling, you remember that jewelry store where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it, and I didn’t have money that time, and I said ‘Baby it’ll be yours one day’?”

“Yeah, I remember that my love!” she replies, smiling and blushing profusely as she does. “I’m in the bar just next to that.”

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A lady walks into Harrods.

She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her – Good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam.

How may we help you today? Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, ‘what is the price of this lovely bracelet?’

He answers, “Madam – if you farted just looking at it – you’re going to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price!”