At a boat-rental concession,
the manager went to the lake’s edge and yelled through his megaphone, “Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up.”

Several minutes passed, but the boat didn’t return. “Boat number 99,” he again hollered, “return to the dock immediately or I’ll have to charge you overtime.”

“Something is wrong here, boss,” his assistant said.

“We only have 75 boats. There is no number 99.”

The manager thought for a moment and then raised his megaphone, “Boat number 66,” he yelled. “Are you having trouble out there?”

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Two Eskimos sitting, paddling along in a kayak,
when one felt a little chilly so he made a little pile of sticks and lit a fire in the craft.

His friend shouted at him to put it out, but the warning was ignored. Unsurprisingly, the kayak sank quite quickly and finding themselves in the cold water, the second Eskimo whacked his idiot mate over the head with a now redundant paddle. “Ouch!!” said the previously warm Eskimo, “what did you do that for?!?”

“Because, you idiot,” said the second Eskimo, “Don’t you know that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too??”

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There were these three Eskimos in the Canadian Territory of Nunavit, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were.

They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo. They went to the first Eskimo’s igloo, where he said “Watch this!” and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor.

“Not bad” said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still. So they went to the second Eskimo’s igloo, and he said “Watch this!” and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor. “Wow, that’s colder than mine!

“said the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they ended up at the third Eskimo’s igloo.

He said “Watch this!” and went into the bedroom, threw back the thick furs, and retrieved one of several small balls of ice there. He took it, put it in a spoon, and held a match under it. When it heated up enough, it went “FFFAAAARRRRTTT”.

He won.