The delivery room was tense as a pregnant woman prepared to give birth. Suddenly, the doctor saw the top of a tiny head appear. To his shock, the baby popped out just enough to ask, “Are you my dad?” The startled doctor replied, “No, I’m your doctor!” Instantly, the baby slipped right back inside. The doctor stared in disbelief. “Well… that’s new,” he muttered.

A moment later, the same thing happened. The baby’s head emerged again. “Are you my dad?” it asked. “No,” the doctor said firmly, “I’m still your doctor.” Once again, the baby disappeared. Now worried, the doctor turned to the nurse and said, “Get the baby’s father in here immediately—we’ve got a problem.”

Moments later, the father rushed in. Right on cue, the baby popped out again and asked, “Are you my dad?” Smiling proudly, the man answered, “Yes, I am!” The baby reached out and poked him on the forehead. “So,” the baby said, “how do you like that?”

In another hospital room, a 65-year-old woman had just given birth thanks to modern technology. When relatives came to visit, they eagerly asked to see the baby. “Not yet,” she said, offering coffee instead. Minutes passed. They asked again. “Not yet.” Growing impatient, they finally asked why. She snapped, “WHEN HE CRIES!” When asked why, she replied, “Because I forgot where I put him!”

Elsewhere, two babies sat in their cribs. One asked the other, “Are you a boy or a girl?” “I don’t know,” came the reply. After some investigation under the blankets, one baby proudly announced, “You’re a girl and I’m a boy!” “How can you tell?” the other asked. “Easy,” he said. “You’ve got pink socks—and I’ve got blue ones.”