JOKE OF THE DAY: An old man calls his son with sad news

I just had to share this one with you. If you liked it, then please send it on. After all, laughter is the best medicine!

On the day before Christmas Eve, a man in Minneapolis call to his son who lives in Chicago since a few years back.

He says: “My dear son, I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. ”I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her,” and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, ”Like hell they’re getting divorced!” She calls their father immediately.

”You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don’t call a lawyer, don’t file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.

The old man turns to his wife and says, “Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.

★¨`*•♫.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ♫ ..•

BONUS STORY

I found this dirty joke earlier today. I told it to a friend right away, and he laughed so hard that he got a tummy ache. I have to admit that I found it really funny as well.

An elderly wife from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband’s lack of sex drive.

“Have you tried Viagra?” the doctor asked.

“Not a chance,” the old lady replied, “he doesn’t even take aspirin.”

“Not a problem,” the doctor replied, “just give him some Montana Viagra.”

“What’s Montana Viagra?”

“It’s simple. You discretely put the Viagra into his coffee when he’s not looking. He won’t be able to taste it. Try it out and get back to me in a week and tell me about the results.”

A week later, the old lady called the doctor.

“Oh my lord!” she wailed, “Terrible! Just terrible.”

“Really? What happened?” the doctor replied.

“I did as you told me, I put the pill into the coffee, and the effect was immediate… he flew up from the chair, and his eyes were positively smoldering. With a quick motion he swept all the cups and the tablecloth from the table, ripped my clothes off and took me then and there on the table. It was a nightmare I tell you, a nightmare.”

“Oh, I see, but why was it so bad, shouldn’t this be a good thing?” the doctor asked in a worried tone.

“Oh yes, this was the best thing to happen to me in 25 years! But I can tell you right now, I’ll never be able to show my face in the downtown Starbucks again!”

Did you smile? If you did, then be a pal and share this with your friends!

Related Posts

My Future MIL and Her Friends Ate Our $1000 Wedding Cake — So I Taught Her a Lesson She’ll Never Forget

I always knew my future mother-in-law, Linda, didn’t like me. She tolerated me only because Alex adored me, but she made it clear I wasn’t “the kind…

I Married a Man—But His Ex Never Left Our Marriage

When I married Daniel, I knew his ex-wife, Julia, would always be part of his life — after all, they shared a teenage son. I accepted that….

I Was About To Leave A Cruel Note For My Neighbor—Then I Heard One Sentence Through The Door That Changed My Perspective On My Chronic Illness And Her Pain Forever

For three grueling weeks, my nights were shattered by the exact same relentless, piercing sound—a baby crying in the carpeted hallway just outside my apartment door. It…

A Secret My Son Hid for 14 Years Destroyed Our Family in One Night

I am a 62-year-old widow with one son and three grandchildren — or, at least, that’s what I always believed. Recently, I uncovered something that completely turned…

I Became an Old Woman’s Granddaughter for $400 a Week – She Left Me Only a Sewing Kit with a Hidden Bottom and a Note: ‘You Haven’t Received the Real Gift Yet’

I answered a flyer offering $400 a week to be an old woman’s granddaughter. What started as a strange job became the closest thing to family I’d…

My Parents Paid $188,000 for My Sister’s College a…

My sister and I graduated from college together, but my parents only paid for my sister’s tuition. “She deserved it, we won’t waste money on you.” they…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *