A blonde had just started a job felling trees for a local contractor

When the day was over the contractor visited to see she’d only chopped down one tree. The contractor asked the blonde what was wrong. She said: “This saws no good boss, I worked all day but could only do one tree.”

“Let me take a look,” Says the contractor as he starts up the chainsaw.

…

.. . The blonde looks startled: “what’s that noise boss?”

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A rabbit, a fox and a bear have to enroll in the army

A rabbit, a fox and a bear have to enroll in the army.

Neither of the 3 are very happy about it, and the only chance they have to avoid it is by being rejected during the medical exam. As they are waiting in line at the doctor’s office, their desperation builds up untill right before it’s the rabbits turn. The rabbit turns to the fox, “Fox, I might have a plan.

B.i.te off my ear, trust me on this one!”

The fox does so, and the rabbit enters the office. A few moments later, he gets out yelling, “I was rejected, guys!”

“Because of your ear?” they ask. “Yes, because without it, I can’t detect the enemy as well,” says rabbit.

“Good thinking,” they say. And with that in mind the fox turns to the bear, “R.ip my tail off!”

The bear doesn’t even hesitate and does so. Then, the fox takes his turn in the office.

After a while he comes back yelling, “I am rejected too! Without my tail, I can’t be as sneaky and agile as I need to be.”

Now it was the bear’s turn to ask, “Quickly, guys, knock out all of my teeth, because a bear without teeth isn’t scary at all!”

The rabbit and the fox start b.ea.ting the muzzle of the bear, completly br.ea.king his face untill there is no tooth is left in his mouth. He then proceeds to go inside the doctor’s office.

Not long after he gets out, he shouts, “Rejecwew!”

“Nice,” they say. “Because of your teeth, right?”

…

.. .

“Nwo,“ says the bear. “Too fat.”