The Secret to Building Trust: Talking — and Listening — to Kids

I was picking up my son from daycare when his teacher gently asked if we could talk in private. Her expression was serious, and my heart began to race. She said, “Your son told me you make him sleep outside when he is bad.” For a second, I couldn’t find the words. I had never done anything like that. Confusion and worry filled my mind as I tried to understand where this was coming from.

 

That evening, after dinner, I sat down with my son to talk. I kept my voice soft, not wanting to scare him. “Hey buddy, what did you tell your teacher today?” I asked. He looked up with a bright smile and said, “When I’m naughty, you tell me I have to sleep outside with the stars!” My heart softened instantly. Suddenly, everything made sense, and I almost laughed.

In our home, bedtime sometimes turns into a playful game. When he’s too energetic to settle down, I joke and say, “Alright, looks like you’ll have to sleep in the tent tonight!” It’s something he loves, a little adventure under the night sky. But to an adult, hearing “sleep outside” sounds very different. What was meant as fun and imagination became a serious misunderstanding in another person’s eyes.

 

That moment taught me a powerful lesson about perspective. Children speak from a place of wonder, not always realizing how their words might sound to others. Adults, on the other hand, listen through their own experiences and concerns. Clear communication builds bridges between these two worlds. A simple conversation turned what could have been a frightening situation into a reminder to always listen, clarify, and see the world through their eyes.

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