A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command.

The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. They carry on and approach the second hurdle.

The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens: the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it.” And yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly.

Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third. The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong.

The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me. It’s this bloody horse. What is he—deaf or something?”

…

..

. The trainer replies, “Deaf?? DEAF??

He’s not deaf—he’s blind!!!”

=================================

A blonde takes a fight to a nearby country. A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.

As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing 747, she started jumping in excitement, running over from seat to seat and starts shouting, “BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!!

BO…..”

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings-on, the Pilot comes out and shouts “Be silent!”

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. …

..

. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, “OEING! OEING!

OEING! OE….”