A businessman is driving through a small town, on his way to an important presentation, when he realizes he needs a haircut and doesn’t have much extra time. He remembers there’s a little barbershop on the corner so he stops, and a short while later he’s back on his way. A week or two passes, and he pulls into the little barbershop again.

“Hello again, Sir,” the barber says. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh, I’d like another haircut, but I’m awfully particular. Can I make a few requests this time?”

“Of course,” says the barber.

“Anything you want. Take a seat.”

The businessman sits down. “So what would you like?” asks the barber.

“Well, for starters, I want you to cut my right sideburn an inch shorter than my left. For my mustache, I want the sides chopped so it looks a little like Hitler’s. Cut the hair on the nape of my neck at a 5-degree angle instead of straight across.

Make sure to give me a slight cowlick. I want my hair parted on the left, but unevenly. Cut exactly two little divots out on the back of my head.

When you use the clippers, I want the two sides slightly different lengths. Blend the sides in, but don’t blend in the back. And when you put the hair gel in, comb the front straight forward and the hair on the top of my head to the rear.”

The barber is taken aback by all these odd requests.

“I can’t do all that!” he says. …

.. .

“Why not?” the businessman asks. “That’s what you did last time.”

================================

Three women went into a bar and ordered their drinks

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender. Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”Bartender:”What is a B and C?”.

Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”

Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”

Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”

Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”

Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”

Bartender: “What’s a 15?”

…

.. . Blonde: “7 and 7”