A sailor didn’t like anything he saw in the mess/food line,
so he just picked up a large piece of chocolate cake. The cook asked, “Is that all you’re gonna eat?”

The sailor said, “Yeah, the rest of it doesn’t look too appetizing.”

The cook smiled and said, “Well, in that case would you like two pieces of cake?”

The sailor said, “Yeah, man, I’d appreciate it!”

The cook leaned over and cut the sailor’s piece of cake in half. There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft.

Curious about its depth, they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing.

They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole.

The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them. The man replied, “Oh, no!

That couldn’t be my goat. Mine was tied to a railroad tie.”

A women is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in…
Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. “Be careful!

CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!”

The wife, startled at her husband’s reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter.

“You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!

TURN THEM NOW!”

The wife, concerned by the status of her husband’s mental state, forgets about the butter and goes running to the eggs. “WE NEED BUTTER! Are you CRAZY???

Where are we going to get the butter? They’re going to stick! HURRY!”

The wife runs to the fri-

“CAREFUL about the eggs!

CAREFUL. You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never!

Turn them quickly! Oh not that quickly, don’t you know how to cook? Are you insane?

Turn the DAMN EGGS!”

At this point, the wife starts crying, since she has no idea what to do. She gasps “What is WRONG with you? I know how to cook eggs.”

The husband simply smiles, remarks “I just wanted to show you what it feels like while I’m driving with you in the car”, and leaves.